Physical Periodic Table of Hipster Names . A periodic table of hipster names.”/>
The Periodic Table of Hipster Names is a chart which catalogs hipster names and their popularity, along with the elements displayed in the name. This chart was created for you to choose your own hipster name!
Hipster names are like the periodic table. They provide a fixed structure, which may or may not be filled in depending on your personal taste. For example, naming a child “Ace” is like filling in the element “H”. A name like “Mason” is like filling in two elements at once: “Ma” for “Mg” and “So” for “Si”. It’s important to remember that filling in a periodic table doesn’t always give you a real element. For example, if you fill in one of the hipster names below by switching its last two letters, you get an unhipster name:
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1. A hipster name is a name that conforms to the following guidelines:
2. Hipster names have a recognizable style, like those of the ancient Greeks and Romans.
3. Hipster names are not traditional, like those of Hindus or Native Americans.
4. Hipster names are not religious, like those of Jews or Christians or Muslims.
5. Hipster names sound good with baby names (e.g., Caleb + Sophia = Cali). Hipster names must not sound good with baby names (e.g., Jacob + Emma = Jakemmy). Hipster names are now suitable for baby girls, but only in combination with non-hipster boy’s names (e.g., Max + Violet = MaxiViolet).
6. You can only use the same hipster name for your first child if its gender is different from yours (e.g., you can give your daughter a hipster name if you’re a boy, but not if you’re a girl). If you use the same hipster name for both children, they must be of opposite sex (e.g., you can’t give your son and daughter the same hipster name).
7. It’s okay to repeat a hipster name
Hipster names are the new black. I know, I know—hipster names have been the new black for quite some time. (I’m talking about hipster names for babies, not hipster bands.) Hipster names for pets are still pretty much the new black.
Thing is, like any other fashion trend, naming your baby after a day of the week doesn’t look as fresh and original as it used to. There’s a lot of overlap between people who name their kids after days of the week and those who choose movie titles, old television shows, and (of course) band names as monikers for their offspring. So if you really want to make sure your kid has an utterly unique name (one that will inevitably invite hours of teasing), you need to get more creative—by which I mean “more pretentious.”
To help you along the way in your quest for hipster baby name perfection, we’ve compiled a handy guide to hipster baby names by element. We start with the basics—the periodic table.*
You probably know what this is. It’s a periodic table, but it’s hipster names instead of elements.
So, for example, if you wanted to name your band, you could look up the name of some element in the table and get something like “Osmium” or “Ununbium”. You can see that there are some already taken, but there are lots of them still available.
As far as I know this was first posted on Twitter by @blazepress, so if you liked it check him out too.
The comments are full of what seem to be reasonable corrections — it’s not just the element names that look silly, it’s the group names too. Some of these groups seem pretty wacky.
New friendships were forged, and romantic relationship were lost.
We decided to follow up on this new information with a simple study. We recruited hipsters from the streets of San Francisco and asked them about the periodic table: “What do you think of it?”
We got a wide range of opinions, but all-in-all, hipsters feel that science is responsible for making their lives difficult.
Subsequent interviews have shown that most feel it should be illegal to put the periodic table in a bar or restaurant.
